The thing about being a woman is that certain time of month when things, put simply... Go fucking crazy!
Seriously I new that going of happy pills would mean closer to normal. What I didn't put any thought into is that around that time of the month I would very often take a few extras to help me cope. Holy crap this is just hell.
I want to cry at everything. Today I haven't even managed to shower.
When your best mate says "hmmm, yeah I thought it was your time of the month" and all you can do from reaching through the phone and yelling " it's got nothing to do with that" is grin and bear it. Seriously I had not put two and two together until she said it. What a twit! Yep I have hit unbalanced. Where are my pills????? Gimme gimme gimme
but NO not this time, I'm going to get through it.
Today really does fucking suck though! I went to the gym and over did it, heart rate went over 160 so I went down like a bag of shit in the middle of a pump class. came home mustered up the energy to dress and drop boys at school. Got home and went to bed. Vacuumed and was trying to get through this mega mess when I went down again. Seriously I want normal!!!!! I feel light headed and Am having to force food down because I feel sick. I have dropped the vac on me, kicked my toe and the mess just isn't moving.
All I want to do is curl up and go back to bed. I feel so guilty that I'm not at the other house working. Honestly it is all too hard!
I know that writing it down helps me to come to realizations, such as forget the guilt. If I don't shake this feeling It will get a lot worse. So I will sit for a while, I won't go to work today. Next time I go to the gym I will pace myself. I need to look after me.
I am a horror for the next few days so I need to do all I can to get through it.
I think I need some perspective.
We have friends who are going through hell and I'm having a bad monthly, Jesus this really is a strange life!
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