So you make your way to the specialist. On arrival you have to weigh in on the scale and then relay your weight to the receptionist. BAM! Already your on a downer. Tonight I had gained 6 kilo's I am the heaviest I have ever been aside from at the end of my pregnancies. How do I feel? Cheated. I gained this weight since having radioactive iodine. I didn't eat myself into an extra few dress sizes. I'm not lazy. I don't drink too much. So once you sit in the waiting room thinking about how disgustingly fat you feel and not to mention how horrible you look in your clothes well then you have to get up and keep a somewhat composed face. So then the specialist tells me that I've shot to under active and the treatment has worked. No exact science to the amount of drugs that will work for me so apparently let the games begin. No amount of time until I have a normal. So be positive. A new prescription in the morning. More and more trips to the gym. More conversations with people defending why I'm so fat. Vague responses from people who are just thinking (just stop eating). People who have not walked in these shoes telling me what I need to eat to solve the whole disease just like that! Whalla. Eat this and you won't have a disease. C'mon positive Positive is in here somewhere. I feel disgusting in this body. In my mind though I feel good. It's close Being normal is close Isn't it?