"Bigger Better, Bigger Brighter"

It's OK, it's OK just need to slow down my brain a little.

So where should I start?

Right in front of me is a little man with a throat infection. Laying on the lounge with a pillow and his doona watching playschool. He has thrown up today (all over my bedding) and is looking very much in grey scale. Poor little man!

To my major concern, if he is ill tomorrow how do I start my first day of new job?

You may be asking, new job? well to be Frank...so am I!

It all happened in a whirlwind and I am slowly trying to work it all out.

I am doing a full 4 days next week too!

How in blue blazes am I going to get this done?

I wasn't even on the job hunt and somehow I managed to get one. I figure that fate or whomever slowed me down by making me redundant so I will just go with the flow. Perhaps it is time?

I have said to my hubby that if it is not for me I will not stay.

The saving grace is that I know many people at this place and I am not worried about the actual work at all. What I am worried about is not giving myself enough time to stay better. As it is I currently nap with the boys 3 times a week. To some it may sound lazy but to me it is my way of staying "Bigger Better, Bigger Brighter" (this being my accidental mantra). At first I had the guilt's about my day sleeps but as time has gone on I have become very much reliant on them.

I have anxieties on not having enough energy/time to go to the gym.

If I add to my stack of cards again will they all fall to the wayside again?

Will my Graves disease see the stress levels rising and mess me around again?

Over the next few weeks I have a few fears that I am concerned with so I need a plan. The first course of action is to go to the chemist and get all the meds I will need and make sure I do not run out. So I will do this today when Tom wakes up.

The next thing I will need to plan out with my gym bud is our schedule for the gym. Making sure we stick to the plan and making sure that I have a sitter for the boys.

Then I need to maintain the groceries so that we are eating well. So I will do the groceries today also. Making sure that I get enough meat and fruit and veg for the next week and a half. I also need to take my milk and bread with me to work so I don't start eating normal bread and milk again.

Clothes is next I will need to do all the washing tonight and make sure that my outfits are fitting me and clean and ironed.

Apart from the above mentioned things I am also worried about the boys. So to make things a little easier on me I will ask my mum and dad to help out by doing breakfast and dressing the boys on the days they have them (not a real big deal for them and we can just enjoy the morning rather than stressing). Hubby will do a few pick ups for me too if I ask him nice.

So after writing it down I do still feel a little anxious about the next week but not as much. I have a plan.

I have a sitter for Tuesday and we are going to dinner. Tomorrow my great girlfriend is coming to stay with her son!! EXCITEMENT PLUS. Hubby is away for the night too. I have Friday off to spend with them. It is the long weekend also so these are the fantastic things happening!! Must buy grog and food for them today as well.

Races this weekend? must double check if we are still going...
I am a busy woman but I can do this

( I have booked a massage for Sunday too)

If it all falls to pieces you will no doubt read about it and if you see me be sure to pat me on the back and say "it is OK you are doing a good job" (lie if you have too)

Ciao

It was the worst day in ages yesterday!

So hard to find your groove when it's late to the party!

Windy days and I are not friends.

Something about everything being so stirred up that it leaves my head in a muddle.

Yesterday was SHOCKING! started badly because I felt sick. If we counted how many times the boys said "mummy" I am sure it would be in the millions. I was so close to changing my name!

Tomi was just whinging all day and Will kept wanting to show me everything "mummy, mummy look at this. Its a rock mummy" ARGH. Grocery shopping whilst hungry was a bad idea. We have some amount of snack food!

Hubby was late in so I was alone with them and fell asleep with them at half seven! I thought about calling people over to help me.

I tell you what, I have such respect for single parents!

Today is so much better already. Cleaning out the rooms and next minute Tomi had taken himself to bed and was laying down with his 8 dummies.

When I am not at my best the days can be horrendous so today I took a trip to my neighbours and had a mid morning break. We had a coffee and treat. Both boys are in bed.

Tom said "plane" today and is getting a little more vocal. He has a gnarly face that he puts on when he is told "no". I wonder where he gets the bitch face from??

Boot camp measurements tonight. dreading that result after my bad weekend!

ciao for now

So this morning I was woken by the question "where did your Dickie go mum?" So with a slight grin I had to try and explain to Will that I didn't have one and that I had a different wee wee because I was a girl. He kept at it though he kept asking and I think I may need a little help with this one. Google will be asked today what I could say or perhaps you could help me by leaving a comment on how you would or have handled that one.

The next early morning thing I need help dealing with is recurring dreams. Last night I dreamt of someone I am missing badly and I cant seem to stop the dreams. I would really love to stop them because I want desperately to move on.

The boys and I just went to feed the neighbours cat this morning and delightfully the peacock was out and he had his tail up for us. Such a beautiful sight to wake up to! He is so lovely and so loud. If you get a chance google a peacock and listen to the sounds those things make. He lives on our street and is simply part of the hood.

Currently hubby is making coffee and the boys are playing in the lounge which I have turned into a giant bed. Wills mattress is out and all the doona's and pillows from the whole house. Did you and your sibling's ever do this? The boys are jumping and snuggling and we put a rug rats cartoon movie on for them while we had a lay in.

Yesterday we went to a party and had a fantastic time, this place was like your grannies house but on speed. They had everything you have ever come across for kids at a garage sale inside this huge place. The boys were a little rough and the ball bit soon turned into a mosh/wresting pit.

The lady who ran the show was all over it! The boy who had the party had asked his mum for an "island" cake and I found this hysterical! The mums I knew sat and had a drink and chat and it was so easy and relaxed.Love those days.

When we got home daddy had made the boys guns and last night spent more time on them. Will slept with his and has not put it down this morning.

The weather is looking good so i might need to take a trip to my friends place today. Nice to have Sundays with friends and fam.

So many fantastic things have happened this weekend already and its Sunday morning at 8am.
Love my life, love my boys, love my friends.

Ciao for now coffee is ready.

A balanced family is a happy family

What a fantastic day yesterday was. The best part of it was by far sitting with my Little family having dinner together. We had fish and Will kept on saying "My don't like fish, yuk". We had such a laugh. Daddy was playing songs on the guitar to get the boys to eat dinner and by the time he was done his dinner was cold. They played hide and seek for ages and Will was counting and missing a few numbers here and there. Cute.

To get Tomi to sleep hubby had to play guitar for him. Tomi went into his own bed and got himself all ready. I was in my bed with Will and we read lots of books.

My absolute favourite book is the Dr Seuss book, Oh the places you will go. I had no idea how relevant a child's book could be to my life. Ha ha loved reading it too my little mate.

I had to fill in some paperwork yesterday and I had to tick a box that said I was a housewife. That in itself is funny! I have never thought I would be a housewife and I much prefer stay at home mum. Housewife to me is so 1920's.

We had a really great game of netball last night. Worked up a sweat and had a great time. I have been doing a lot of classes and training. I still have to stop eating the wrong thing. You know when you are doing the work and you are at the stage where you think you should be a super model and your still struggling to do up your jeans? Well I'm at that stage!

Healthy body, Healthy mind.

A bigger better, A bigger Brighter.

It feels like we have changed our routine to include runs and trips to the gym. It seems to be really working for us and I think we have found a really nice balance. I find myself smiling more and looking forward to loads of things.

I have DE-cluttered and am working in the garden more. Spring is here and daylight savings is coming in a few weeks.

Yesterday I was cruising around in a singlet and undies when, whilst on the phone to the bank Tomi opened the front door with the key and was heading out front. I had to drop the phone and run out the front after him. Wow I'm sure the bloke across the road would have been smiling at that sight! HA HA little cheeky bugger!

We had my foo's birthday last week and had a McDonald's party. It was great fun. We then had a family do and that was great also. Here is some pic's

The following day was giggles with the ladies at the pub. Once again we spent most of the time laughing and talking. It was so nice and easy. Loved talking to the girls who are going through the same stuff with the kids etc. but I love that we can talk mainly about other stuff. Some of them met me at my most unbalanced and have been so great.

We have a race day booked in at the end of September!!!

Kids have school photos today, can't wait to see these. Will wants to go as superman. I actually have never had there photos done so this should be good.

Busy morning to get stuck into

Ciao



Making waves in the pool when I am not anywhere near it!

Well the heading is dramatic and I really have no interest in delving into it but I will say that the positives outweighed the negatives today.

My boys went to sleep in the same bed again this afternoon-cute. They played well for most of the day and I got a big chance to chat to great friends and to get into some household boring stuff. I spent time with my foo's (nephews) and the boys aunt (because she is awesome). Little bit of shopping and a play in the park with coffee. It was so busy though so we came back to my place. Ah it really is the best play land at our place trampoline, cubby, tyre swing, swing, rope ladder, telescope and a sandpit! My boys love it and I cant wait till summer so we can get the slip and slide out too.

On another note Will was sprung by daddy standing at the loo the other day. Mike thought this was fantastic and I saw the mess and was brought immediately back to sharing a toilet with brothers (YUK) It was a milestone and he was so proud of himself. I ran and got the bathroom stool though.He can stand on that and possibly get it in!

We have a new truck as it came with Mikes job and the boys think it is the best thing ever. I did not drive manual cars very well and I can tell you their is no improvement! Bunny hopped about eight times at netball last week and all the cricket guys were watching me I was laughing so hard! I had the damn hand brake on! Whoops.

Did the garage out last week for fathers day. Pretty proud of myself (dad taught me all of it) and it is so handy. Was so great having dad helping me. Love him so much! He was telling me all sorts of tricks and the stories he tells me are priceless. He leaves me tools too, this week I got a tape measure. Next time he's here he will probably say "oh that's where my tape measure is" and he usually takes them again. I wonder if he is aware that he does it? Meh who cares I love that he does it. I had planned on hitting the junk shops with him a few weeks ago but was really sick so I missed it. I'm sure we will go soon enough whilst I'm not working.

Tomorrow is a special day, it makes me want to see my parents even more. It is on my mind big time and I will never forget what was whispered to me xx I wonder what words of wisdom she would have had...

My gosh the smell of spring was in the house today, the Jasmine was divine. I got less than I wanted done but my god i am feeling good. I went running with my neighbour and the sunset was awesome.

Played netball after that and had a great game, worked like a trooper and lost fabulously!

When I came home afterward the boys were "hiding" under the coffee table. Too adorable for words. Daddy had made a home made pizza telling me it was awful so that I would let him eat it all. It was actually awesome. I am yet to pour that vodka but I wanted to write before I did.

A good friend of mine told me that she blogs and I finally read it today. Her reason to blog was to write down all of the family moments so that she would not forget them. I thought that was fantastic and I intend to do the same. Loved reading some of her stories and look forward to new ones.

 My family of four is the most amazing thing and I am so blessed to have them. My husband found out about my blog today. He was telling me the feedback he had gotten. All positive. I am to say the least chuffed that he has the ability to know that I share myself with whoever wants to read it and he seems happy. If it were me I would be reading it like white on rice. Not him. such a water sign.

Last weekend we had fathers day at mum and dads and it was amazing. Dad had the back fort set up and the boys were in the cubby house. I got loads of photos and loved the day. Mum made bread and butter pudding and the banter about that was hilarious. Hubby and aunt were at it and it was causing endless laughs. I had some forgetting that I don't eat bread and oh my god I was ill. Turns out that it really is making a difference to my body because I blew up like anything and suffered through that night. I didn't tell them that though my god I can imaging the comments. It reminded me of how dad and his brother bantered when together xxx dad misses him so much. He talked about it on Sunday and wished his twin could have walked his daughter down the isle and played with his gran kids. Love him so very much. I can not wait to see the photos.

At the end of this day all I can do is hope that I have not done anything that would cause another any upset. My intention is to be the best version of myself, to be the best mother and wife for my family and to be the best friend to you that you need and want.

Ciao

Too many things are linked in this life.

Today was the boys great grandfather's funeral. To stand behind a woman whom had lost her husband of so many years was moving to say the least. To stand next to a woman who was unable to watch as her fathers body was lowered into the grave was breathtaking. He was 96 years old. We were witness to his story and for this we are richer.

Never before had I had much to do with "old people" as my grandparents were in Scotland. I met him when I was probably 16. He was a cheeky bugger and they welcomed me with such love xx

With this loss we vowed to do more with the nans and our boys. We will not have regrets as we did today.

I thought several times of the hanky in my bag, why I had it on hand and where it was from. Mostly I thought of its history. With regret I said what I could and I prayed (not something I do) or I may have spoken to an angel.

Tonight I watched a show on TV and what was the mothers gift to the bridesmaids...but a hanky.

So many times I had thought of moving it or packing it away, I am so glad that it still remains on my end table along with my heart given to me when I needed the Love xxx

Life is short but looking through a selection of a 96 year old photos starting from the war was ....

A great friend of mine told me last week that no-one has the same people as they started with, people come in an out of our life's when they are meant to. To miss the dead is one thing but to miss the living is sad.

We took the boys to the wake and they brought much amusement to all of us. the cutest was watching the bub kiss all the nans on the lips. He is my cuddly bub and I'm sure that this warmed Nana's heart.

Hard to watch hubby in pain. I could not love him more.

Today was the best way to send a loved one off. I don't feel sad that he died I applaud his life. It is what it is.



I'm up and it is a ridiculous hour. I can not for the life of me get back to sleep, damn it!
I can feel a panic attack brewing so all I could think to do was write it down.
Don't you hate it when all you can do is think about that one thing that went wrong. My regret is that their is nothing that I can or could have done to change the situation. I really do have a broken, swollen torn in half heart. Dramatic you might think to yourself... Well no word of a lie this is how it feels.
I want more than anything to have this feeling gone.
We have so much change happening at the moment and I feel so unsettled. Hubby is in between an old job and a new one. I hope so much that he is going to flourish at this next role. He is happier than he has been in a long time and we are talking and laughing all the time. He is great with the boys, Friday night he had a fire and they both sat in this bucket thing together with pillows and blankets.
They boys are getting so big. I was in the kitchen and copped a kick to the ankle last night, little bugger!
My bub gives fantastic cuddles.

We have extras in our bed almost every night. hmmm should work on that as it may become another bad habit, but I do love a hot water bottle laying next to me :)
Had another fantastic weekend seeing friends and having family time together, jumping on the trampoline. I have been making much more of an effort to getting out and seeing my friends. I am loving working out and am seeing some changes in my body. I found some great REAL images on Pinterest yesterday and wanted to share them with all my fellow body battlers:

She looks so happy! and REAL!

I am desperately trying to give up milk and bread, although it didn't go to well yesterday. Probably part of the reason I can not sleep. My tummy feels horrid.
I have done some more research into what I can do dietary wise to help my Graves disease and by starting with cutting or reducing these two things I would really help myself.
I missed my pills Saturday night, that may be another reason why I am up writing myself out of feeling like this. Pills? I am so over taking pills.
I have a few things I must tend to, such as completing another allergy test. eradicate the allergy foods as much as possible.I need to start taking Cod Liver Oil enriched with vitamin D, An alkalizing diet helps apparently; so do psyllium husks, slippery elm powder and probiotics (all of this stuff is totally new to me, but I will give it a try)
Apparently Missy Elliot has Graves disease and Sarah Wilson wrote a great blog on it. Very inspiring.
I was very introverted yesterday at my friends place, you know when you cant put a sentence together and anything you do say sounds wrong!
I have put some thought into what my direction is for working, still no real clear idea whats next...
I love to get my hands dirty, I would love to renovate everyday if I could. I adore pretty things. I miss the girls from work but at the end of last year the job was to much for me truthfully. I could not handle all my balls and kept dropping them.
Being the best mum I can be seems to be at the top of my list. I figure that these little bubs are going to be at school before I know it. Might as well try and relax while they are still babies.
Must think about Tomi's birthday and Christmas next. What to do this year?

Well I feel better, you did the trick blogger!