Bloody hell. Another Australia day come and gone...
this last 12 months went by so fast.
Bucketing down with rain followed by the crazy stinking hot weather, seriously?
we could have been at the beach again like last year. But its so inconsistent that we just went to the pub. Great group of mates relaxing together with the kids running around like little ants.
So nice to have a day together.
I felt no pressure today, was having a horrendous hair day and it is crazy funny how that effects your mood. Hair is everything to a woman. Never let anybody tell you otherwise. Husband thought he did something wrong and laughed when I told him my hair is awful. Not that funny honey!!
Come on will power lets get ME sorted out asap. We can do it Step up!!!
lots happening with renovation I'm doing. Demo'd a kitchen yesterday nothing more empowering than ripping the guts out of a daggy kitchen alone. GIRL POWER
Then home to picking up toys and wiping bums. Don't forget the kisses and cuddles and the most important. The laughter.
Ciao and happy Australia Day
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Sunday, 22 January 2012
Peace at last.
I don't have much time, the lil fellas are having a bath.
Wow the most fantastic, excellent new is that I'm off the happy pills!!! It happened by accident but I am off them. I feel so happy and I can't believe it.
I ran out of them and didn't refill the prescription. I had a few headaches and my appetite has increased but I have had no dark thoughts and am smiling at nothing.
It is so hard to understand that being balanced can seem like such an achievement but jesus Christ I did it.
My sense of humor is back and I'm feeling as whitty as (I think) I was before. Some may disagree whatever.
Thyroid levels are still too high to have treatment and blood pressure is also to high. I am excersising and watching my pressure as I go. I have joined the 10 million kilo challenge and am about to shop for the new healthy eating plan. I am reading more about a healthy life and also about how to beat auto immune disease. I can not wait for the treatment to kill of my thyroid, I think it will be about six weeks before we can consider it. Ah well when it does happen I will be normal and will not have to monitor anything!!! Oh that will be fucking great.
Had a wicked couple of days, so many laughs. Kids are just so cool. Will went up to the very top of a carnival slide and slid down on a hessian sack all by himself. No fear that kid. I love it. I admire it.
Been thinking a lot about what we have and why we all need so much more, when my parents brought us to Australia from Scotland they had nothing. We had milk crates for furniture and mum knitted to earn a wage. Knitting can you believe it? We are so caught up in stuff. Why we don't need it. My kids dont go without, they certainly don't want for anything. I'm not working this month and so we are not spending as we would normally and today I was thinking wow I don't miss it.
We had great mets over last night and Jesus Christ being 31 and having so much fun.... Life could not be better. The people in my life are my fortune.
I don't want stress, I don't want bitching, I want easy, relaxed fun.
I have lunch with my girlfriends today and damn I can not wait.
Boys are out the bath. Have a great day guys.
Smile and spare a thought for how much we have.
Wow the most fantastic, excellent new is that I'm off the happy pills!!! It happened by accident but I am off them. I feel so happy and I can't believe it.
I ran out of them and didn't refill the prescription. I had a few headaches and my appetite has increased but I have had no dark thoughts and am smiling at nothing.
It is so hard to understand that being balanced can seem like such an achievement but jesus Christ I did it.
My sense of humor is back and I'm feeling as whitty as (I think) I was before. Some may disagree whatever.
Thyroid levels are still too high to have treatment and blood pressure is also to high. I am excersising and watching my pressure as I go. I have joined the 10 million kilo challenge and am about to shop for the new healthy eating plan. I am reading more about a healthy life and also about how to beat auto immune disease. I can not wait for the treatment to kill of my thyroid, I think it will be about six weeks before we can consider it. Ah well when it does happen I will be normal and will not have to monitor anything!!! Oh that will be fucking great.
Had a wicked couple of days, so many laughs. Kids are just so cool. Will went up to the very top of a carnival slide and slid down on a hessian sack all by himself. No fear that kid. I love it. I admire it.
Been thinking a lot about what we have and why we all need so much more, when my parents brought us to Australia from Scotland they had nothing. We had milk crates for furniture and mum knitted to earn a wage. Knitting can you believe it? We are so caught up in stuff. Why we don't need it. My kids dont go without, they certainly don't want for anything. I'm not working this month and so we are not spending as we would normally and today I was thinking wow I don't miss it.
We had great mets over last night and Jesus Christ being 31 and having so much fun.... Life could not be better. The people in my life are my fortune.
I don't want stress, I don't want bitching, I want easy, relaxed fun.
I have lunch with my girlfriends today and damn I can not wait.
Boys are out the bath. Have a great day guys.
Smile and spare a thought for how much we have.
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Bloody Nora this morning was horrendous!
Flipping pantry moths have invaded the pantry so I had to empty it out and use a cotton bud in all the holes to clean it out YUK! So whilst I'm knee deep in boxes, cans and packets my wee man gets hold of the green food coloring and proceeds to redecorate the lounge and bathroom!!!!! Green everywhere. It s not the small bottle either it was the big one. Needless to say I'm washing everything from the bathroom (second time in two days) he is covered in it and looks like the hulk.
Meanwhile hubby was asleep in the room next door and I am convinced he is pretending. I threw the wee man in the shower and he moved into the bath instead so the green just spread even further. Eventually hubby got up and complained about the mess I had made. He was smiling and it's just lucky he is cute!
He goes back to work tomorrow, I go back to normal life. This is my year to get my shit together. I'm all over it in 2012. Not to many resolutions but I had to make some.
1. Stop yelling ( food coloring incident can't count surely)
2. Be healthy ( note this does not mean loose weight because that is a battle I'm not currently prepared to or able to fight)
3. Be happy, which I am currently enjoying.
Boys are at school 3 days this year and hopefully I have work to pay for that, if not meh I will have to pull them out one day. No real drama, life tends to let me know if I'm doing to much.
I got my first migraine in years the other day and my vision went all puddley. Scary considering how many I used to get. We were at the beach and playing on the boat so it was not the best timing. My god regardless we had such a great time. The boys were loving the sand and the water.
Tom is howling gotta fly
Ciao
Flipping pantry moths have invaded the pantry so I had to empty it out and use a cotton bud in all the holes to clean it out YUK! So whilst I'm knee deep in boxes, cans and packets my wee man gets hold of the green food coloring and proceeds to redecorate the lounge and bathroom!!!!! Green everywhere. It s not the small bottle either it was the big one. Needless to say I'm washing everything from the bathroom (second time in two days) he is covered in it and looks like the hulk.
Meanwhile hubby was asleep in the room next door and I am convinced he is pretending. I threw the wee man in the shower and he moved into the bath instead so the green just spread even further. Eventually hubby got up and complained about the mess I had made. He was smiling and it's just lucky he is cute!
He goes back to work tomorrow, I go back to normal life. This is my year to get my shit together. I'm all over it in 2012. Not to many resolutions but I had to make some.
1. Stop yelling ( food coloring incident can't count surely)
2. Be healthy ( note this does not mean loose weight because that is a battle I'm not currently prepared to or able to fight)
3. Be happy, which I am currently enjoying.
Boys are at school 3 days this year and hopefully I have work to pay for that, if not meh I will have to pull them out one day. No real drama, life tends to let me know if I'm doing to much.
I got my first migraine in years the other day and my vision went all puddley. Scary considering how many I used to get. We were at the beach and playing on the boat so it was not the best timing. My god regardless we had such a great time. The boys were loving the sand and the water.
Tom is howling gotta fly
Ciao
Monday, 2 January 2012
A line in the sand
Well it's been a while! No apologies though been loving the holidays.
The little family are happy is pigs in mud and I am just the same. No reason for not writing other than I have not needed or wanted to.
We have had Christmas parties, dinners with fab friends, loads of get togethers, a trip away in the sun, Christmas and new years and are just enjoying being at home with our boys. Hubby is making home made pizzas on the BBQ and I am happily eating them.
I went to the gym yesterday and was bored out of my mind because I'm on walking duties only until my over active thyroid rights itself (new med's again)it was good to be moving though.I will soon find out if the overactive result has improved enough for me to either have surgery or radioactive iodine treatment. Not sure about the latter.
My questions about RI treatment is how can they be sure that it won't harm you or your family years later. After all dad had the same treatment years ago and then my mum and he both went on to get cancer. Mmmmm not keen on the unknown. The surgery is a risk because they have no idea if they are going to damage you and if they will take the right amount. Oh I dont know but the last 4 years have really taken its toll on me and I want the roller coaster to stop so I can get off.
Although I am contented I do not feel like myself and am questioning who I am, I wonder if having either treatment will draw a line in the sand for me to step over.
Tom did #2's yesterday all by himself in the potty. Such a big boy. He is stringing sentences together and is just a ball of energy. Will plays so well with him and they talk and play all day. Tom follows everything Will does. Our little girl bunny is keeping them amused as they chase her round the garden.
I have no work this month and am so glad I want to get my creative on and nock a few things of my bucket list. Off to the beach tomorrow again. Love it!
Today I give thanks for all the amazing and positive people I have in my life, it is with you my sun shines.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Hem of His Garment
Believing has never been something I have had in my life.
Believing is not a question I want or need to answer.
I want to write down a story that is not mine to tell but I need to write it down.
Yesterday my dad told me of his experience several years ago and I cant get it out of my head. It was when Euan fell down the mountain.
Firstly here are the lyrics that were stuck in dads head after he heard a song played on the radio. The song is by Sam Cooke it is very old. (You tube it)
"Oh, there was a woman in the Bible days,
she had been sick, sick so very long
but she heard about Jesus was passing by,
so she joined the gathering throng
and while she was pushing her way through,
someone ask her: 'What are you trying to do?'
She said:
'if I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'll be made whole'
She cried:
'Oh Lord, Oh Lord and Oh Lord, Oh Lord'
Said :
'if I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'll be made whole'
Oh, She spent her money here and there
until she had no, had no more to spare,
the doctors, they'd done all they could
but their medicine would do no good.
When she touched Him The Saviour didn't see
but still He turned around and cried
'Somebody touched me'
She said:
'It was I who just wanna touch the hem of Your garment,
I know I'll be made whole right now'
She stood there crying:
'Oh Lord, Oh Lord and Oh Lord, Oh Lord'
Said:
'If I could just touch the hem of His garment,
I know I'll made whole right now'"
At the time that dad heard this song on the radio my brother was in the ICU at Nepean Hospital after falling from a cliff. He was in a coma and sustained a massive head injury. He was flown from the accident in a care flight helicopter.
My dad was not a church goer nor a christian.
He told my mum on the same day he heard the song on the radio that he was going to church as he just had to go there. My mum asked if it was the nearest church (St Michael's) and he said no, he was off to the little one in Castle Hill. My mum did not question it she went along.
As they sat in church the priests sermon this day was as the above lyrics. My dad could not believe it.
The song he heard on the radio was the topic of the church service!
He stayed behind afterwards and spoke to the priest. He introduced himself as Colin Dunlop and the priest interrupted him and asked if he was Euan Dunlops father, the young man in hospital. My dad was shocked and said he was. The priest stumbled and spoke of his congregation, whom had concentrated their prayers on this young man "Euan Dunlop" for several weeks since the accident.
The priest gathered the church elders and introduced them all to my parents. They all new about Euan and were praying for him together.
He hugged my dad and asked if he would come back to church next week and my dad told him probably not.
The priest told dad that dad had been sent to the church to let the congregation know that there prayers had been answered and if he did not come back it did not matter. God had answered their prayers.
My dad told me of this story only yesterday several years after the fact. He told me that this is only one of his experiences and he believes that there has to be something out there.
I am so moved by this story and am praying for Zali
So many of your people are silently supporting your family.
Matt your poems/lyrics touch my heart and I adore you for sharing them.
I am no churchy, but it is what it is
we all love you guys, if you need anything please call.
Jen
Believing is not a question I want or need to answer.
I want to write down a story that is not mine to tell but I need to write it down.
Yesterday my dad told me of his experience several years ago and I cant get it out of my head. It was when Euan fell down the mountain.
Firstly here are the lyrics that were stuck in dads head after he heard a song played on the radio. The song is by Sam Cooke it is very old. (You tube it)
"Oh, there was a woman in the Bible days,
she had been sick, sick so very long
but she heard about Jesus was passing by,
so she joined the gathering throng
and while she was pushing her way through,
someone ask her: 'What are you trying to do?'
She said:
'if I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'll be made whole'
She cried:
'Oh Lord, Oh Lord and Oh Lord, Oh Lord'
Said :
'if I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I'll be made whole'
Oh, She spent her money here and there
until she had no, had no more to spare,
the doctors, they'd done all they could
but their medicine would do no good.
When she touched Him The Saviour didn't see
but still He turned around and cried
'Somebody touched me'
She said:
'It was I who just wanna touch the hem of Your garment,
I know I'll be made whole right now'
She stood there crying:
'Oh Lord, Oh Lord and Oh Lord, Oh Lord'
Said:
'If I could just touch the hem of His garment,
I know I'll made whole right now'"
At the time that dad heard this song on the radio my brother was in the ICU at Nepean Hospital after falling from a cliff. He was in a coma and sustained a massive head injury. He was flown from the accident in a care flight helicopter.
My dad was not a church goer nor a christian.
He told my mum on the same day he heard the song on the radio that he was going to church as he just had to go there. My mum asked if it was the nearest church (St Michael's) and he said no, he was off to the little one in Castle Hill. My mum did not question it she went along.
As they sat in church the priests sermon this day was as the above lyrics. My dad could not believe it.
The song he heard on the radio was the topic of the church service!
He stayed behind afterwards and spoke to the priest. He introduced himself as Colin Dunlop and the priest interrupted him and asked if he was Euan Dunlops father, the young man in hospital. My dad was shocked and said he was. The priest stumbled and spoke of his congregation, whom had concentrated their prayers on this young man "Euan Dunlop" for several weeks since the accident.
The priest gathered the church elders and introduced them all to my parents. They all new about Euan and were praying for him together.
He hugged my dad and asked if he would come back to church next week and my dad told him probably not.
The priest told dad that dad had been sent to the church to let the congregation know that there prayers had been answered and if he did not come back it did not matter. God had answered their prayers.
My dad told me of this story only yesterday several years after the fact. He told me that this is only one of his experiences and he believes that there has to be something out there.
I am so moved by this story and am praying for Zali
So many of your people are silently supporting your family.
Matt your poems/lyrics touch my heart and I adore you for sharing them.
I am no churchy, but it is what it is
we all love you guys, if you need anything please call.
Jen
Sunday, 30 October 2011
The end of October already.
I have no clue of the actual amount of time, but it feels like a long time since I have felt like writing.
Their is a whole lot of warmth in my heart tonight. I am thinking of my loved ones. Those who are precious to me.
With all of the commitments we have at the moment I have shut myself of with family and I am feeling a bit guilty about friends. What I have learnt in the past 12 months is that my friends will understand.
This afternoon I had a big fight with Will, he would not eat dinner again and we got so worked up and he ran away from home (next door). He was tired and I had no idea that his dad had given him a sandwich before he went out. So I need to ask, to smack or not to smack because hubby and I reached a point tonight where we decided it did nothing anyway. In the heat of the moment though I really need to learn more disciplining techniques.
I was smacked as a child and all it did was make me fear my dad and withdraw from him. I would hate my children to feel that way.
How will I cope when both the boys are arguing with me? eek.
My "little sister" is famous this month, a magazine has done an article about her and her close friend. I was teary when I read it. It is all about how she has supported a friend throughout the depths of depression. It goes on the say how she visited her in hospital every chance she could and how special she made her friend feel. Oh I was so proud reading it. Knowing what I have gone through this past 12 months. What a beautiful celebration of true friendship. We sat about in the afternoon sun and she played with my boys. Just an amazing afternoon. Her dad said to me that I had something to do with how she turned out. What an amazing compliment, what a beautiful woman she is.
With such a short time until Christmas it is a strange time. Tom is two at the end of this coming month. I can not believe the time has gone so fast and the amount that I have accomplished.
Today I found my waist and I was very happy to see it so I celebrated with some chocolate (I see a problem here can you?) My husband was also happy to see it and told me so. He is still making me laugh and driving me nuts.
Halloween tomorrow, fun with the boys. I can play with make-up and dress ups yeehaw!
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
"Bigger Better, Bigger Brighter"
It's OK, it's OK just need to slow down my brain a little.
So where should I start?
Right in front of me is a little man with a throat infection. Laying on the lounge with a pillow and his doona watching playschool. He has thrown up today (all over my bedding) and is looking very much in grey scale. Poor little man!
To my major concern, if he is ill tomorrow how do I start my first day of new job?
You may be asking, new job? well to be Frank...so am I!
It all happened in a whirlwind and I am slowly trying to work it all out.
I am doing a full 4 days next week too!
How in blue blazes am I going to get this done?
I wasn't even on the job hunt and somehow I managed to get one. I figure that fate or whomever slowed me down by making me redundant so I will just go with the flow. Perhaps it is time?
I have said to my hubby that if it is not for me I will not stay.
The saving grace is that I know many people at this place and I am not worried about the actual work at all. What I am worried about is not giving myself enough time to stay better. As it is I currently nap with the boys 3 times a week. To some it may sound lazy but to me it is my way of staying "Bigger Better, Bigger Brighter" (this being my accidental mantra). At first I had the guilt's about my day sleeps but as time has gone on I have become very much reliant on them.
I have anxieties on not having enough energy/time to go to the gym.
If I add to my stack of cards again will they all fall to the wayside again?
Will my Graves disease see the stress levels rising and mess me around again?
Over the next few weeks I have a few fears that I am concerned with so I need a plan. The first course of action is to go to the chemist and get all the meds I will need and make sure I do not run out. So I will do this today when Tom wakes up.
The next thing I will need to plan out with my gym bud is our schedule for the gym. Making sure we stick to the plan and making sure that I have a sitter for the boys.
Then I need to maintain the groceries so that we are eating well. So I will do the groceries today also. Making sure that I get enough meat and fruit and veg for the next week and a half. I also need to take my milk and bread with me to work so I don't start eating normal bread and milk again.
Clothes is next I will need to do all the washing tonight and make sure that my outfits are fitting me and clean and ironed.
Apart from the above mentioned things I am also worried about the boys. So to make things a little easier on me I will ask my mum and dad to help out by doing breakfast and dressing the boys on the days they have them (not a real big deal for them and we can just enjoy the morning rather than stressing). Hubby will do a few pick ups for me too if I ask him nice.
So after writing it down I do still feel a little anxious about the next week but not as much. I have a plan.
I have a sitter for Tuesday and we are going to dinner. Tomorrow my great girlfriend is coming to stay with her son!! EXCITEMENT PLUS. Hubby is away for the night too. I have Friday off to spend with them. It is the long weekend also so these are the fantastic things happening!! Must buy grog and food for them today as well.
Races this weekend? must double check if we are still going...
I am a busy woman but I can do this
( I have booked a massage for Sunday too)
If it all falls to pieces you will no doubt read about it and if you see me be sure to pat me on the back and say "it is OK you are doing a good job" (lie if you have too)
Ciao
Over the next few weeks I have a few fears that I am concerned with so I need a plan. The first course of action is to go to the chemist and get all the meds I will need and make sure I do not run out. So I will do this today when Tom wakes up.
The next thing I will need to plan out with my gym bud is our schedule for the gym. Making sure we stick to the plan and making sure that I have a sitter for the boys.
Then I need to maintain the groceries so that we are eating well. So I will do the groceries today also. Making sure that I get enough meat and fruit and veg for the next week and a half. I also need to take my milk and bread with me to work so I don't start eating normal bread and milk again.
Clothes is next I will need to do all the washing tonight and make sure that my outfits are fitting me and clean and ironed.
Apart from the above mentioned things I am also worried about the boys. So to make things a little easier on me I will ask my mum and dad to help out by doing breakfast and dressing the boys on the days they have them (not a real big deal for them and we can just enjoy the morning rather than stressing). Hubby will do a few pick ups for me too if I ask him nice.
So after writing it down I do still feel a little anxious about the next week but not as much. I have a plan.
I have a sitter for Tuesday and we are going to dinner. Tomorrow my great girlfriend is coming to stay with her son!! EXCITEMENT PLUS. Hubby is away for the night too. I have Friday off to spend with them. It is the long weekend also so these are the fantastic things happening!! Must buy grog and food for them today as well.
Races this weekend? must double check if we are still going...
I am a busy woman but I can do this
( I have booked a massage for Sunday too)
If it all falls to pieces you will no doubt read about it and if you see me be sure to pat me on the back and say "it is OK you are doing a good job" (lie if you have too)
Ciao
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)